Hey all,

I just created a new community - Married 2 Medicine! For those of you that spend all of your time at the hospital, overcome everyday crazyness of being a medical student or a resident, please join and share your frustrations, stories, memories and anything you wish :)

Current Location: library
Current Mood: flirty

I recently read through my personal journals and I discovered that I only write when I am extremely stressed or things are not going the way they should be going in life. I get this weird imaginary ball stuck in my throat (type of mechanical obstruction, that is definately not mechanical). I try to get rid of this huge ball by using various methods, like heimlick maneuver, deep breathing, coughing, but unfortunately things I learned in BLS are not quite helping. Those are the situations I want to scream, climb of my skin and for once say that there are much better things in life than medicine. Thinking such thoughts makes me even more mad, talking to my "normal" friends that work as corporate bankers, or as managers makes me even more frustrated. Medicine seems like a never ending, life long partner of my life that I can not seem to part with. I can proudly say I am married to medicine. It is a 24 hours a day, 7 day a week partner. I guess, like any marriage it has its ups and downs. When such "downs" happen, i just tend to write a lot. While normal people go out drinking, playing pool and enjoying other great things life has to offer.

Still, hospital is one of the only places that makes me feel completely comfortable and uneasy at the same time. When i worked as an RN in the SICU at Albany Med I used to think I could probably live there if they let me. That feeling I used to get and I still do made me decide to become a doctor. Now that I look at things from a different angle, I realize that medicine is the fussiest, most unpredictable partner I have ever had, and the hospital is the most chaotic household I have ever lived in.

A friend once told me that I am the cause of all my problems and I should never blame anyone or anything for them. He also said that tomorrow is another day and I can completely turn my life around and start over. I know all this, I know the stress that comes with being a medical student and a part-time nursing manager at the same time, but for some reason I wake up every morning and no matter how stressed I am or how bad yesterday was, I never think to start my life over.

I guess I am Married to Medicine for life. We are in this love-hate relationship that I never want to divorce.

Current Mood: weird